OPEN UP: Week Of 08.01.22

Another full week adventure in the arts. I am continuing to push forward through this time of my life. I’ve identified that a window has opened for me to go as far as I want to go. Opportunities are coming towards me that I could never have anticipated, even just a short while ago. I am accepting of life’s invitation now, open to the possibilities that are outside of my comfort zone or all I “think” I might need. My job? I think it’s just to focus in. As the externals grow around me, I find myself yearning to go deeper inward. What about all of this really is real? What is just lip-service, superficiality, temporal pleasures and gains, vs what is going to last forever? What will actually live forever? I also am looking inward to myself. Who am I? What do I really want out of all this?

But anyways, another weeks gone by this is what happened:

TATTOOS

FIRST of all, my tattoos are now open for the remainder of August and September. I am tattooing a little less right now to focus on painting for my solo show, but I still have a lot of availability. I now have a DIRECT business phone number. Please do not hesitate to text me if you have any questions about your tattoo ideas or concepts. I can walk you through it and book it with you. I am really looking for folks who are interested in getting some traditional japanese or chinese motifs. hit me up direct on my number 678-697-2909 or you can book me directly here. ok let’s continue on.

Bachelor Man

So… I was nominated by Atlanta publication “Jezebel” as one of Atlanta’s top 20 eligible bachelors. I mean yes I’ll take it!

On Tuesday they threw a really dope party for us up in Buckhead village. When there’s people walking around with drink trays is how I know I made it somewhere haha. But anyways, it was a dope evening, got to meet some dope people and yeah afterwards I went to Target.

But yes, it is an honor to be a part of this. One of my core values is to represent what wasn’t represented in my life as a younger person. So, as I was kind of debating whether to do this or not I remembered that people like me aren’t always represented in this way. Ultimately, I want people to see that they can still go out, be someone out there, but not have to compromise who they really are.

Don’t get me wrong though it’s not all philanthropic, it was epic to be a part for me personally. But yeah, at this point thought I’m just gonna be a bachelor until further notice cause I got a lot I want to do outside of all that.

New Styles

I have been learning Chinese watercolor recently. I love the simplicity, the flow, and how it’s a different process than my other works. It gives me a rest from needing to spend hours and hours and days on one piece of art and let’s me just play around with shapes, abstraction and color. My favorite thing to do recently has been to do these 9x17 paintings on rice paper. here’s one of my favorites called “Blush” and another one of some koi fish I haven’t named yet.

I am feeling connected to a deeper philosophy. The philosophy of flow, the letting go of control and within that finding freedom.

Below is a larger one I set out to do last night at Bonfire in ATL. I felt like I had come to a place where I was ready to try a more broad landscape with multiple flowers. I love how it turned out.

PANTS

I released my pants idea this week and I felt all the love. I am working on a plan for all the clothes, a way to use fashion and clothing to build 2 things: dignity and community. I want the clothes I make to make people feel badass and super special. I want everyone who is moved by this art to feel like they are part of something bigger than just clothes, themselves, or even exclusivity.

Because of the time consuming nature of these clothes in this beginning stage, I want to do a few key pieces over the course of the next few months as part of my solo art show.

If you are interested in custom painted clothes from me, please be on the look out. Later this week I will be posting a simple sign up sheet on the website that will explain what I’m thinking and give you an opportunity to jump in. It is coming soon I’m just designing the plan of action. But it’s pretty much here :p.

OPEN UP

I’m opening up myself to change. I’m looking towards my own future and the life that I want not only experience but invite others into around me. It takes a lot of energy to create a new path, but I’m come to my own personal conviction that this is part of what I’m supposed to do with my life. So many people have paved paths for me to walk - teaching, investing, and guiding me along the way.

I’m asking now that I feel a torch passed to me… what world might I be able to create? How can we create paths for people to walk, better ways to view ourselves and the decisions we choose to make.

How do we discover what truly matters in life and ultimately how do we build bridges for as many people as possible to exist within this?

I’m excited yall. doing art is opening my eyes and I’m finding more and more healing within myself.

and oh yeah this picture is so crazy to me. I stepped on this toy soldier yesterday at bonfire, just under my feet. I can’t explain it here but these figurines mean a lot to me and connect me to a very special time in my life. and just to step on one at a music and art event in Atlanta is just so weird to me. These things are happening often.

Anyways yall, that’s my update. Thank you for reading. Stay positive and keep creating. You can create your way to a new life

What good is anything if it cost your soul?

Som real

So I was nominated in a magazine called jezebel for “Atlantas most eligible bachelors of 2022.” Tonight they threw a party for everyone in buckhead.

I cannot help but feel like a child inside, even still On the search for something more. Even here, at an upscale buckhead rooftop bar with feee drinks surrounded by beautiful people… it still is missing. I don’t know what about my life will not let me feel satisfied now, but I can only view it as the call to something higher and deeper within myself. My dissatisfaction only shows me the possibilities of what is out there and what is in me - something far beyond the surface.

Things I always dreamed of deep in my heart seem to be coming true almost daily… yet what they’ve always said is true. Something is still missing

08/02/2022 2:23am

Service: Week Of 07.25.22

What a week what a week yall. I’m currently drinking tea, did my morning yoga, and now i’m writing this blog. I’ve never done yoga in my life but recently I’ve been trying to do 10-15 minutes every morning. I ended up loving it and has been such a great time to center myself, my thoughts, and my intentions for the day. Gives me a chance to let go of things I need to let go of and re-direct any steps that may be working against me or the people around me. I’m with it for sure!

Anywayas, wanted to write my weekly recap of the week. It was such an eventful one - art opening, tattoos, art classes at creature comforts, and more painting!

Freemarket Galleries: “Heatwave”

I got to put up another dragon in “Heatwave,” Freemarket Gallery’s (Atlanta) large group show. It was a special time because a year ago I got to do my first dragon paintings for this same gallery and here we are a whole year later, and I got to put my “Ryu No. 5” in there.

For the opening of the show, I decided to stay and hand out invitations for my solo show and just shake hands and say thank you to everyone who was enjoying the art. I was for sure nervous to do that thinking about how I’d look and if I’d be alone or anything but I’m so glad I did it. I ran out of all my invites and got to meet so many amazing people. One of my favorite things is meeting other artists and being able to encourage each other. And as always, we had to roll up with the crew from Peters Street Station! It was great to celebrate with Simone, Petie and Mercury.

WORK: PAINTING & TATTOOS

I’m currently setting out to start all the work for my solo show. I’ve been exploring Chinese watercolors on rice paper recently, studying the traditional strokes of painting and expression. Here are my first couple finished rice paper pieces, two peony landscapes. Both paintings sold immediately!

I also got to do some really special tattoos this week. Joseph came to Atlanta for his 30th birthday and commemorated it with his first tattoo of my original artwork from 2020. I was also lucky enough to get to do a full color tree on Jacky. The tree was split up into four seasons, so I had to find a way to make a tree have spring, summer, fall and winter in it. It felt good to tattoo again and especially for this session as it was a connection from over many years of time with the art. Very special.

MEET THE ARTIST AT CREATURE COMFORTS BREWERY

Yesterday I got to teach my drawing class at Creature Comforts Brewery in Athens, GA. Creature Comforts is such a legendary beer and have made their mark on the world for sure. What’s special about this to me is that I lived in Athens when they opened, and remember the excitement about the beer and the whole brewery. I was like a senior in college or something and remember them building the brewery…. and it’s so wild to me all this time later to be able to have the chance to do this special event with them. It was amazing…. beer, live jazz trio, and a free art class? cmon man, it was lit. Of course all the Athens homies had to pull up, as well as some new faces too. I felt very honored to be there as a teacher and an artist… and overall with these classes I just love how for a couple hours we all can kind of forget everything else going on in our lives and just simply make something together. I’m finding so much fulfillment and a new kind of joy by teaching… like the real things of life are in there I think. But anyways, I was really, really moved by this opportunity and can’t wait to do more. My next class will be on Tigers on August 21.

REFLECTION

I had a realization this week that I wasn’t having that much fun at all doing this art thing. It sounds kind of crazy but I was in a place where I was so stressed and anxious about all the art I wanted to create and everything I wanted to do for my show that I was forgetting to actually enjoy life as it was happening. I found myself not being present with myself, others and the things that were immediately in front of me… always worrying about the next painting, the next event, or the next thing I gotta do. What’s interesting is that I set out to do my first painting for my show and felt completely stuck… like I wasn’t moved by it or nothing. I think it’s because I was creating from a place of stress and striving and not love. This is what brought about this reflection. So from then on I just set the painting down and tried for the next few days to just be present and thankful at all times. I tried the best I could the shift my perspective on art and life, to try to get myself back to the place of humility, gratitude, and ultimately TRUST. Part of my daily reset is trying to get myself to a place of TRUST in all things, not distrust. I feel like life tries to tear our faith and trust away from us, causing us to look at life and each other resentfully. But what if we could let go of that way of thinking? You are right where you need to be. Everything will be ok. Do you trust the process?

Love, AB

All A Dream: Week Of 07.18.22

I’ve gotta start blogging about all of this. Lately I have been struggling more and more with writing, but I think I realized that I was getting into a place where I felt like I needed to edit my self more… Recently, there has definitely been so much growth… people been so supportive of the arts and the journey. What’s pretty new to me right now in life is feeling like there are a lot of people supporting me, but I don’t know them… Which is definitely a new and weird experience. Like, feeling like there are real fans out there, it’s wild man. But that honestly that thought has had me overthinking everything recently, especially online. Wanting to edit and be more presentable… but then I’m like hellllll no. I feel like it’s been constricting my voice and the freedom that I’ve always originally found in writing and creating. I’ve always got to remind myself that being myself is what got me to this day and this time, so I can trust that that’s all I gotta do. I also always have to remind myself that being honest and open about my life is why a lot of you like to read these blogs, and what makes this place different for me. I think about the internet - the quick transmission of information, the filters and the fakeness, the instant success based on metrics that we’ve been programmed to care about… and I ask, “what are we actually doing on here?” For me, I’m making a decision to write more here because as I’ve reflected over the past years I feel like this blog has been a worthwhile endeavor on the internet. Something honest and real for me. Something I can look back on and remember and be thankful for. But anyways, I’m gonna start doing weekly updates for yall as I set out to go all in for my solo art show, which will be on Oct 14. So… here’s my “week of” for 07.18.22

All A Dream: Week Of 07.18.22

I feel like I’m gearing up. I’ve been feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the thought of putting on my own solo show. I’m nervous because of the uncertainty and I’m nervous because of the possibilities. Like, I don’t know where to start. To me, the creative process comes in waves. ebbs and flows. States of mind. I see it kind of like skateboarding, when you drop into the bowl (not that I can do that). But it’s just dropping in… jumping in… getting lost in it. I feel that I am at the precipice of the one of the most demanding feats of my life, and I’m preparing myself to go ahead and drop in all the way for the next 3 months.

Just last week I feel like I came to a place that I was waiting to be. It was with the dragons. I feel like there was a level I wanted to get to with the dragons for this show. On the technical front, I needed to understanding the shapes and scales better…. and how get the dragons to flow more with a little more style. I needed to discover which direction I wanted to go with in the dragons. So over the past months I’ve just been drawing and painting dragons, trying to find this feeling. and last week, I felt it. I completed two dragons (Ryu no. 4 and Ryu no. 5)…. and something about it just clicked. I can’t describe the feeling exactly, but… it was just a click. Ready to drop in. The pieces came together. I also discovered the finishing technique that is going to make these paintings unique to this show.

I also have begun playing with traditonal chinese brush painting. I have two more new paintings coming out soon on RICE paper. I’m very very excited about this new technique

---

1st Koi Sleeve Process

This week was also monumental because I completed my first koi fish tattoo sleeve. This tattoo sleeve is 100% original drawing and design, which actually exists as a painting as well. This is a part of my solo show, to have fine art rice paper paintings that inspire real life tattoos and to be able to show the painting and the human canvas together. This is part of my concept of my solo art show “Blooms Floating World…”. I’m trying to create new worlds by crossing existing worlds… floating worlds. Anyways, here are a few pictures of the progress of the sleeve. Man… the feeling of this sleeve coming to life is crazy. It’s such hard work but the satisfaction seeing this piece on the arm and it radiating that feeling.. It’s indescribable. Also, this tattoo I am working on the freehanding elements of the piece. The bottom Chrysanthemum is freehanded as well as a good portion of the background. I cannot WAIT to get to the shading.

ABV OUTERSPACE

ABV OUTERSPACE

This was such an energetic weekend in Atlanta. This is from Saturday night from the Outerspace Project party featuring Flying Lotus. Myself, Petie and Simone from the gang had a crazy night. For real crazy… in the sense like we couldn’t believe what we were seeing. For me, I was overwhelmed in many ways, having a hard time grasping what we were experiencing. The picture from above was the epic live painting battle featuring some of Atlanta’s legendary artists, and they had live painting all around the venue and outside. It was a true honor to watch everyone do their thing, to see folks who usually just exist on instagram for me in real life… And man, if anyone is reading from the Atlanta art scene: Let’s go fucking hard yall we are in a very very important moment in time. Not just in Atlanta, but in the world. This is a time in life where we are going to NEED artists to express their perspective. I’m just watching culture… how everyone is interacting with art and how art scenes are now being built. We are ushering in the new time of culture and what’s crazy is that it’s not something else creating it… we are. To all the artists, go hard. Be honest, get out there, leave it all on the floor. It’s time!

These moments make me feel so grateful to be where I am. It also lights a fire under me to keep pushing to grow the most I can as an artist…. To really commit to the path and to jump all the way into the process and the life. I was so inspired seeing Paper Frank up there and George and Tom and everyone else just out at the event. I feel like every artist in Atlanta was in there walking around. But yeah yall, shoutout to ABV for one amazing weekend…

But yes yall that was it for me this past week. This week I will continue to work on my paintings and I’m starting the works for the show officially this week. I also am in a group show , “Heatwave” this Saturday at Freemarket galleries in Atlanta showing one of my new dragons. The opening reception is this Saturday at 6pm. Thanks for reading my first “week of” I hope it encourages yall to get out there, live, and create some art!

Much love, Andrew

5 Tips for the creatives

5 tips and ideas for my creatives out there in no particular order. These are some philosophies that apply in my own life that help keep the ball rolling. I know for a lot of artists the hardest part is turning abstract ideas such as art and dreams into practical day to day realities. Hopefully these can encourage you to keep creating and to help you find some solutions for your own creative process

1. Creative Deadlines: I try to give myself a deadline for every idea that I want to become reality, and I do it publicly. Most of the times when I announce to the world I’m going to do something whether it be via the blog, Instagram, or just in person… what I’m actually doing is setting a deadline for myself. It’s one thing to say something and not do it when it’s just a thought in your head, but when you speak it into the world the accountability goes to a new level. So when y’all see “painting coming Friday” or “new blog post this week” I’m holding myself accountable by creating my own deadlines and creating that expectation in the world. Start saying “yes” before you feel ready because if you’re waiting to feel ready you will be waiting for a long time.

2. Commit To Finish: what I’m learning currently is the importance of finishing work and pushing through all the phases of emotion and doubt that is intrinsic in the creative process. for me, EVERY piece has a moment where I’m thinking “I should just stop now, it’s not turning out like I wanted it to…” and I’ve started asking myself, “well how do you really know that if you haven’t finished it?” I found a whole new meaning to trusting the process. What if the feeling of failure you feel at the onset of your creative endeavors is not inadequacy but the fact that the process is yielding something DIFFERENT (not worse) than you imagined in your head? The most important discoveries in art to me come right after the decision to see a foreign idea through… that’s how you discover new styles.

3. Take Risks: There is no way around this. If you think about it… every innovation is a result of risk. Risk it all, many of the things holding you back from taking the risks you dream turn out to be of little consequence later. Without taking risks you will always exists within that you already know and you may wonder why you are feeling stuck and uninspired. Have you rolled the dice today?

4. Be consistent: My mentor Miya said it best: McDonalds is not good, but it’s really consistent. In the artists’ psyche you may be tempted to believe you’re not good enough… but try not to get it confused with not being consistent enough. Create a system, commit to the craft and I promise the skill set and proficiency will follow. Everything will grow - the opportunities, the skills, the money…just stay with it. For me, I decided to start making art every day starting in the middle of December 2021. It’s really really tedious at first and you have the push trough a mountain of resistance… but after a while it has become just a part of my life just like breathing. My goal was to be able to freehand Asian motifs from my mind without a reference, and after these first 6 months I can already see the skill developing. I can no freehand koi fish, dragons, peonies and Chrysanthemums without looking at pictures ( a skill that didn’t exist 6 months ago).

5. Break down large goals into tasks you can manage daily. Often the size of your dream can leave you paralyzed in your tracks. You see where you want to be but the amount of options and paths become overwhelming and choosing a direction feels impossible. This is where most people begin to think their goal is impossible. What I’ve been doing is breaking down large goals into small tasks and small goals that I can accomplish daily or weekly. You have to think of it like a house. You can’t build a house in one day but you can lay a few bricks for the house in one day. Drywall another. Electrical. Plumbing. Same principle. Just yesterday I designed and ordered my flyer for my solo show. Just one simple task. But it’s another step towards my goal and another brick… Don’t quit on your dream just cause it feels there is too much to do. Take a deep breath, take some time to plan it out. MOST large concepts can be broken down into small, very doable and very manageable ideas. Maybe what’s lacking in your process is not the resources or the skill set but the ability to manage tasks and time in a way that is efficient and inspiring to you. DO NOT QUIT on your big idea please, it may be one of the most important things you ever do. And hey, if you quit, the world doesn’t get to enjoy it. We need it!

Anyways, I hope any of this was helpful. Keep creating y’all!

always try to finish

finished this dragon tonight. Well almost, I want to carve out something more things to make it really pop. I’m feeling happy about how everything is coming out, still trying to do new things with each painting to discover what works and doesn’t work. The unfair part of the creative process is you can’t apply lessons in real time, you have to learn them through experience. I feel like every piece will have “mistakes” until you redefine what “mistakes” really are. Is it an idea that only exists within your own head?

BLOOMS FLOATING WORLD

It’s official yall! I am excited to announce my first ever official solo art show. The exhibit will be held at Peters Street Station in Atlanta, GA during the months of October and November of 2022. The opening reception will be October 14th. “Blooms Floating World” will feature all new paintings, tattoo design concepts and clothing. I am hoping to tie all three mediums together into a unique and multi-facetted expression.

Today marks almost exactly 3 months until the opening of my show. To be honest, I’ve been feeling a lot of resistance to this announcement, feeling both total excitement and definitely some pressure. For me, I really want this show to be special and historic. I want to create a body of art that I am proud of and that show’s the world who I am as an artist. I’m viewing this show, in part, as my introduction to the world at large, and am allowing myself to dream of how far it all can go.

I decided to call it Blooms Floating World (after a few months of thinking about it) as a way to nod to the ancient Japanese art form of Ukiyo-e. Ukiyo-e, when translated to English means “floating world.” In the Japanese sense, “floating worlds” described the ethos of the artwork, which served to romanticize the ephemeral aspects of everyday life. I am using this title as a nod to the original idea of ukiyo-e, but also as a way to express the feeling of being in between many worlds. In many ways, this is a core value I hold and in is in part why I am here I believe - to use art to help bridge gaps in culture and to tell the real stories of life.

This idea explains the logo, the simple venndiagram, showing the merging of multiple ideas… beautiful and new things caught in the middle.

Anyways yall, I am so excited to get started on all these paintings. I’m really going to go for it on this one. I appreciate yalls support and following along the journey. See yall October 14!

-AB

HBD

Just realized that this is the first 4th of July Of my life where I’ve wondered what it is we are celebrating exactly…

Born Again

Hey yall, I wanted to write a blog post about one of my new works, called “Born Again.” Included in this post will be a little bit on the process of creating this three panel painting (triptych) and also what was going on in my life that inspired me to paint this piece. This piece was completed and shown for my first solo exhibition that came and went in May, and I wanted to really push the envelope for myself I also got some film photography back from over the months so I wanted to let you in on the process through the photography as well.

I have always wanted to complete a triptych. The overall design of this painting is actually inspired by European Triptychs that I was lucky enough to see in person in Italy during the summer of 2015. The composition was also equally inspired by the long horizontal Chinese paintings that I was looking at at the time. I thought that by doing three panels, I could really accentuate each part of the mythical bird, and really show off the flow and the colors of the tail.

“Born Again” in Process 1

Process

I worked on this painting over the course of several months. I actually didn’t like it that much for the majority of the process. Some painting flow out easily, and some others are a battle to the very end… needing to push through doubts and the voice that is always temping artists…”this sucks, why don’t you quit?” One value I have set for myself as an artists is that I force myself to finish. Tattoooing actually opened up this idea for me because in tattooing you have no choice but to finish. Imaging getting a tattoo and half way through the tattoo artist stops and says… “you know what I don’t like how this is going I’m just gonna stop right here…” haha right? And believe me, tattoo artists are all human and have those same thoughts and fears.

It is always important to finish because in all reality, you don’t ever know what you can do or what can come of something until you see it to the end. And in my personal experience, I am 100% always, ALWAYS, glad to finish a piece because with some perspective and time, you realize it was always better than you thought in the first place. How many times do we quit halfway through something, when maybe all it needs is a few more hours to become a masterpiece? You never actually know… be sure to listen to the right voice in your head.

For “Born Again” I did not anticipate the colors to be what they would become. During this time I was working on my other piece “I Miss You” and was really enjoying a new watercolor set that I had gotten. I had no idea what I was going to do when I started the phoenix, but allowed my interests at the time to dictate my decisions. I look art art this way… do. not. overthink. things. when it comes down to what should i paint? what should i draw? what should I color? Just come always back to the simplicity of it all… what do you like? do that.

“Born Again” In Process 2

As I was filling in the colors, I started to feel much better about the piece. The colors reminded my of old fruit roll up candies I used to eat as a kid… the fruity gradients of the tropical plastic flavors. I actually almost named the piece “fruit roll up phoenix” too, but felt in the end to go with “Born Again” to further accentuate the spiritual theme I was feeling at the time, and still feel in this time of my life now.

The last two touches were the complete red background and the snowfall. I wanted to do the red cause I saw it in my head, and wanted to take a risk. Again, I didn’t like it at first… but then over time I realized that the reason I felt like that was because it was DIFFERENT, not BAD. I started to open up myself to risks and to accept the consequences of those artists risks. With every painting I do, one of my main objectives is to always try something new or different, as a way to push myself and also to remind myself that change is good and progression is the goal, not perfection.

The frame

The frame needed a whole paragraph for itself. This mother effing frame haha…. I built the frame by hand, and for obvious reasons and what I realized through the first time building the frame, that the margin for error was MUCH smaller than building a single frame. I ended up having to construct this frame TWO times in one night because as the wood in my first build was warped ever so slightly, so after I put it all together, the last panel would not fit in properly. At this point, it is to be expected. With every build, I always expect some sort of error or bullshit to happen (thanks for murpheys law)… so at this point… I took a deep breath, maybe uttered “fuck” a few times under my breath… and prepared to start over. I think me and my friend simone went to eat sushi or something but I stepped out, went to home depot, bought the wood AGAIN… and started again.

The deadline for my solo show was quick approaching, so I ended up staying up all night to complete the frame correctly.. and get this… at about 4:30AM I am using a pneumatic nail gun to finish the frame and on the LAST nail of the frame the nail gun jams. So here I am again paying my respects to murpheys law… taking this happening now as personal tests of will and belief. so from then on it was hammer time. Later in the evening I ended up figuring out how to unjam the gun and put the finishing touches on my piece as the sun was coming up in Castleberry Hill.

The process of building the frame was as difficult as the painting itself, but the satisfaction I have now from that memory and the story of putting all together is what makes it all so special to me. After all, what else would I have wanted to do with my time and energy?

Born Again

Across different cultures, the phoenix is a symbol of rising from the ashes of fire. I called this painting “Born Again” as a way to nod to my experience in Christianity but also call to question in my own life what being “Born Again” really means. In Christianity “Born Again” is a very common term used for someone who has been “saved,” but I always felt the concept in the religion was very vague. Like how am I born again but still the exact same. I don’t know what I think about all that right now, but I do very much believe in the regenerative story of life that we are all invited to live in each day… The chance to reinvent ourselves, to rise to new heights, and to be renewed and forgiven. Each day we can be born again, letting go of the past and pressing on towards how things need to be. I feel like my life right now is very much the feeling of the phoenix, going through the process of letting go of everything I “thought” I knew to find the truth, and finding my soul spirit flourishing into many colors on the other side of the fire. I also painted the Phoenix in snowfall because it is symbolizing the flourishing of the spirit in a cold time, and the rising of beauty into spring and the warmer months.

I hope yall enjoy this painting as much as I do. It will forever remind of May 2022, where I felt like what I had been working on for so long came to life in front of me. Born Again.

AB

Somewhere out there

I was walking today and was reminded how big the world was… I was thinking wow somewhere out there is Paris, somewhere out there is Taiwan, somewhere out there is Egypt… all these places, one the same globe.

I think I’m realizing what it is I want in life… like really what it might be about for me. And I know that as time changes these values will shift over and over again but I feel such a sense of clarity and focus.

I feel like for most of the journey the dream feels far away and just out of reach. Like you can imagine it but it’s not real yet. And then sometime, like an eclipse, you can feel it.

I’m just wondering, what if I can see and do everything I’ve always dreamed with just a bit of hard word and the willingness to let go of what no longer serves what I believe life to be about.

Always Remember Me, Ok?

To most, my new business card is simply a coy marketing slogan to make sure everyone who meets me will remember me. Though that is partly true I also wanted to share the story and the inspiration behind this saying and what it really means to me personally and how this saying even came into my life.

Recently, I have been finding so much beauty and life in nature. This is truly “getting older” talk but I mean it. I feel like so many answers in life… from the spiritual all the way to the practical, can be found in observing how the natural world around us works. I mean, if you think about it, everything that is unnatural is created ultimately from something natural that has always existed. Maybe the answers are not found in the applications but right outside our windows.

Lately, I have been trying to practice being still outside, allowing who I believe to be God, the Universe, or whatever you want to call it, speak to my soul and guide me. In my life right now I feel so connected to God in a new way, a deeper way… taking off all the limitations of what that relationship needs to look like, being open and listening.

The slogan, “Always Remember Me, Ok?” was something I had heard in a prayer as I was sitting alongside the Chattahoochee one afternoon a few weeks ago. I was praying because I was feeling overwhelmed by all the new things in my life. Tattooing, Peters Street Station, just living in Atlanta in general, faster lifestyle, different culture… everything. I had always wondered if I would ever lose myself in the pursuit of my dreams and success. On the day I heard this saying, I was wondering if I was slipping down the very path I promised myself I never would go down, if I was being consumed by the offerings of being an emerging artist in Atlanta.

I prayed and asked the course I needed to take in this time and my life… and the answer I heard was this simple request. “always remember me, ok?” And in that moment, I knew that I Was hearing. I felt like this was a pivotal moment for me personally, where I Was able to have some peace in knowing that everything was going to be okay if I just always kept the main thing about the main thing. It was a reminder to always remember why I started anything I’m involved in now… for the love and nothing else.

so, if you get a card from me and you see this slogan anywhere, it’s me always reminding myself to stay right here.

peace, AB

Dead Center

I have not published a blog post since February 10th of this year. Dannnnng. I think that’s the longest I’ve gone without writing on here in a while. For the better part of the last year, as many of you have seen, I put my head down for something I really wanted to go for. I just figured I was given an opportunity to grow as an artist and go as hard and far as I wanted to. I felt like this year of my life has been such an incredible moment… where I felt like the door opened that I was knocking on my whole life. It has been nothing short of a thrill and a true adventure, and what’s crazy too is that it is only the start of it… I cannot imagine what is to come.

In May, I painted my first mural, painted and styled shoes for Doc Martens my favorite shoe company, and completed my first solo exhibition that featured of over 20 works of art. On top of this I was also tattooing and working in my tattoo apprenticeship at Peters Street Station. When May 1 came around, I set out on a mission to leave everything on the floor… not sure how I was going to be able to do all of these projects at once. I tried to hire an assistant, and even talked to Miya about taking some time off so I could have more time to complete everything I needed to do. But something about this time made me feel that neither of these options were the route I needed to take. I actually needed to think more critically about my choices and my time, and what things I was prioritizing in life. After all, I started asking myself the question, “why do I need to hire someone to help manage my life when in many ways I am not managing my own?” I ended up not hiring an assistant and not taking time off the apprenticeship, interested in the idea that maybe the issue is not that I dont “have” time, but in reality I didn’t “make” it. I went to work and made it happen… I can honestly say I am so proud of myself and actually was able to feel myself growing each day. In May I worked every single day, virtually all day. I’d be up making frames or painting til 4 or 5 in the morning on the regular. I started to feel like I was reaching a new depth of myself and a new depth of who I was to become as a person and an artist. I found a switch. May 19th, when I got to share my solo exhibition, was the culmination of all I had poured out into my art, and the feeling I had about everything was just so different. It was real pride, it was real confidence, real joy… deeper and separate from compliments, criticisms, who came, who didn’t come. I feel like if 0 people could have come to my opening and I would have felt the exact same level of accomplishment. Just like… dang man. I really did that. I made the hard choices, I dug into myself, exercised discipline and self-control… to see my dreams become reality and not just dreams in my head. There’s so much I could say about this, but ultimately what I came to discover was the true feeling of my time, my life, and my work being worthwhile. Is what you need to do all day, all the mundane and hard little gritty parts…. is it all worth it? And when you can answer that question as a resounding “yes…” then you’ve found yourself in a new place. Working hard takes on a whole new meaning once you find a passion for something and a reason to do it.

Dead Center

Even though this year has been one of the most incredible journeys and blessings of my life, I started to get this feeling that there were things beneath the surface of my life I wasn’t healthily processing. I started my apprenticeship in August of 2021… and really from that point on never looked back. As time went on, the polar nature of my transition started to become more difficult to manage and understand. Please consider that I left white evangelical Christianity and started working for one of the very first contemporary black tattoo masters in the world, in an all black community. And then on top of that I’m Asian. My perspectives started to change, and I wanted them to. I allowed myself to recognize the discrepancies and hypocrisies of my previous experience and gave myself the opportunity to pursue my own truth and find my own path in life irregardless of the opinions of the people around me. i knew so deep in me there was way more for me in life, and the way I saw it I knew I would come to regret not finding my way just cause I was afraid of the opinions of others, who in the end, I’ve discovered are simply afraid and insecure. Don’t get me wrong, there have been a lot of difficult aspects of this… turns out everyone wants you to “be yourself” until you actually do. It’s weird how that works right? It reminds me a lot of buzz words that I would hear in the church for so long, “freedom” “joy” “chains are broken” “set free” “God wants you to be you…” but ironically if you did any of these things unashamedly the same people preaching these ideals would be the first to marginalize you. It’s the same thing here… if you are considering forging your own path in life, go ahead and accept that doing so is going to reveal the true intention of everything and every person around you in your life. You will be shocked at the fragility of many of your relationships, finding that many of your connections are founded on agreeing on ideals and not really friendship. But don’t fret, you will also be surprised at the new, unexpected, and beautiful things that will fill your life now that you are not acting. You’re becoming real.

I decided to take a week vacation. I wanted to be inspired by art and be around the water and the trees, so I came to Savannah, GA.. about a 3 hour drive down for me from Atlanta. I got myself an airbnb under one of those huge moss trees and came for a week to look at art, make some connections with some old friends and new friends, and be inspired and changed by whatever it is I was supposed to discover. I also came to do some personal processing, allowing myself to lay out my life - my actions, choices, values - in front of me to evaluate what has been helping for me up til now and what things I may need to leave in my past. I came to find that while art and my rookie career as a tattoo apprenticeship was flourishing, parts of my soul were really struggling. I wasn’t sleeping, not eating good, not having a clear grip on boundaries when it was coming down to alcohol, weed, dating and just indulgence in general. I started to get this feeling deep in my soul that i needed to make a change. I came to get away from everything and to take a look at this one very important question. I started by just writing this on a piece of paper.

“What stands in the way of who you are today and who you want to become tomorrow? and be honest.”

To me, this is how I define a true spirituality and spiritual growth. Within this question, I am interacting with God and Spirit, opening up my life to be guided by a true knowing deep within me and around me. That’s God to me. I don’t know what He looks like or who He votes for, but that’s all okay with me. It’s these processes and prayers that make up the real foundations of a true spirituality. REAL God moments. I find it so ironic in our day and age that almost everyone can tell you what their sign is or their enneagram number or their allegiance to a certain church or denomination, yet are unable to answer honestly simple questions about their own soul… We would be wise to always look beyond the surface and beyond peoples’ words.

For me, personally, I needed to check my relationship with coffee, alcohol and dating. I had to come to terms with the fact that I was on auto-pilot in my relationship with these things. I realized that my need for coffee was hurting my body (fucking up my stomach constantly), alcohol was clouding my mind, and dating just to date or simply finding validation from women in this way was crushing my soul… and all three were bleeding time and money. For the past little while, I’d find myself at a club or at a bar, or spending time and money on night out with people I even don’t know, on a hinge date, or just out drinking spending more money… and I’d have moments of zooming out and looking around… never able to ignore the question that was coming from deep inside… “yo, what am I actually DOING here?” It has really come down to - I’m realizing what I really want and what kind of life I want to create for myself, my community and the world at large. As I’ve started to discover this, it has became harder and harder to invest into things that weren’t returning the same level of purpose or joy as things like art has… or doing art shows, or helping people, or teaching a drawing class, or observing nature, learning. These are the true treasures of my life, and I realized that it was my habits that would ultimately become my own blocks to be able to express what I truly love into the world. I’m going to work on my life… and this benefits me, you, and every person I will ever meet in the future.

I titled this blog post “dead center” because I am starting to accept this idea that every part of my life’s experience has in some part to do with me and the choices I made to get here. Good and bad. With the exception of extreme cases, you are where you are and you have the life you live partly because you are playing an active role in choosing your experience. You are in the job you are in because you have accepted the job you are in. You are in the relationships you are in because part of you is choosing it. I find it off-putting when people explain their lives to me as if they are a helpless within their own context and everyone and everything around them is “making” their life the way it is. No. We are responsible for our actions, even down to what and who we allow around us. It is hypocrisy to complain about your life or the place you have found yourself in without the willingness to factor in and consider your own choices and values that brought you there.

I’m come to see that I am not out the outside looking in on my life. I am not a helpless observer, watching the waves of life - it’s temptations, illusions, lies, it’s very hurt and complex people - toss me too and fro...deciding my fate and my experience. I have the power to change my decisions today and to envision a better experience for myself as a human being, who, for all I know, am just passing through this life this one time. I exist at the center (practically, not spiritually) of my existence, a free agent of my own choices… and therefore able to change my life at any given moment if I want to. It crazy how time slips away, stuck in toxic cycles for days at first, then weeks, then years, and boom it all that time flew by… only to realize I could have made better choices at any given moment and started really LIVING good earlier. I am doing everything in my power to spare myself from that experience.

I took some time to redirect my values. I am thinking now about physical, emotion and spiritual health. I’m thinking about what I allow into my world and into my body accepting the simple truth - “you are what you eat.” and I want to be good.

Go on the journey of discovering what you really want in life. Find what makes you come alive and do that, for it will turn into what your mission will be, and then that will then become your purpose. Go on the journey of discovering truth that cannot be found in the bottle, on instagram, or in a one-night stand…but deep within yourself. Find that it has always been there, waiting patiently for you to go on your life’s TRUE grand adventure, the discovery and the developing of a loving and trusting relationship with your own soul.

Do this and watch all the bullshit slowly melt away into what it always has been: of no use at all.

more blogging to come soon! back on it.

with love, AB

having a clean conscious is worth everything.

It is no small victory to choose to value yourself. Especially when it means saying bye to something you really liked.

and most other times it feels impossible to choose correctly.

Learning

In a strange turn of many events I have found that I have been invited down the dark and mysterious road of rockstardom. It is something that I am having a difficult time digesting, and so far the tropes of lust, selfishness, and superficiality are turning out to be all too true. It sounds so self-absorbed to admit it, but I am realizing that I have to process my reality “as-is” even if there are parts that I don’t know how to deal with… But people are watching heavy… and I am starting to know it. It’s a weird experience, having people know who you are and love what you do and come talk to about it… sometimes I don’t know what to say and often times I am very shy. I don’t know what to do with compliments other than say “thank you.”

“What do you mean by rock-stardom?” you might ask. I understand the strangeness of admitting this out loud, and I have an incredibly difficult time explaining these experiences to my friends… even to myself. My life is happening VERY fast right now and I suppose I’m holding on for dear life. I am wrestling with this idea that I really want to change and I really want to explore all these new experiences in life, but I am scared of losing myself…. and losing the pure parts of my heart. This stuff really matters to me… Man change is hard.

But I’ve made a commitment to myself to go all the way and to see for myself… no matter what anyone thinks, I have to discover who I am in the world and how I am to decide what to do with it. I have made a decision to never let anyone else hold that power over me, telling me how to look, what to say, and what to love. That is the very right of our freedom as people… to be ourselves. I often feel lonely these days. I am in a new world… trying to find balance, trying not to change my core values, trying not to get swept up in the highs or the lows… but just wanna make art and change the world is all.

Gyarados

Just finished my first piece of a new concept im Working on. This is a Pokémon “Gyarados” painted in traditional Style. I’m gonna try quite a few more. Brings me back :)

Jan 25

Some new stuff I’m working on. I’m finding a way to deal with some of my past by painting memories. This is an idea I’m working on…

Ok

Just painted this today. Sunday… beautiful winter Sunday. Clear skies, crisp and still air. I am finding a great solitude and comfort in my painting. Ive wanted to blog more but to be honest the last few months have been taking my energies elsewhere off the internet. I feel like I really got INTO my painting… started thinking about it on a deeper level. Started really putting my heart into em. I started forgetting to really be on the internet documenting. I’m trying to find a balance.

anyways, here is a new painting. People won’t even see it for a while unless you actively read this blog. Keep checking back in, I hope to be posting in this more as a art journal too. But yes to the painting.I wanted to try to depict a still winters day, just like we’ve been having here in Atlanta. I was wanting to try to replicate the woodblock printing colors I’ve been seeing in horishiges work, Giving my hand at background subtlety and creating layers in a piece. I want you to be transported!!

Ink

I spilled ink today working on my first flash sheet. The first thought I had was “I hope I have enough paint left to finish art” and not “oh no what about my table?” And this… was a VERY significant shift in thinking for me.

we all want to own more things until we realize all those things end up owning you.