We all know the feeling too well…
“I’ll Do It Tomorrow.”
And unfortunately for a lot of things in our life, tomorrow never comes.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… what is the level of validity for the excuses that I give myself for the things that I need to do take care of in my life. Habits that I really needed to start yesterday, many of which, if I were honest, still live as figments of my imagination (because they are not yet reality). We sit around, talk about everything we will do, act as if we are preparing to do them… but then never end up doing them at all. This may be starting a new project/passion, having a difficult conversation, cleaning your room, or any number of mundane tasks that we’re required to take care of in our lives.
A lesson that I’m learning the hard way is this idea that though delaying what I need to do gives me a temporary (and false) sense of respite from the trivial tasks of life, it always ends up costing me more time to procrastinate than to just get it out of the way. I’m beginning to look at it this way… life is like a big knot. In a situation, it may start out with no knots in it, but as time passes, the knot gets bigger and bigger and bigger… and if I were to un-knot the little knots as they come up, it would eventually save me more time than waiting until there is a huge knot to untie. Life is the same way… small knots turn to big knots.
This might sound a little intense, but I believe that every time we delay something we know we need to do, we tell ourselves a little lie. We are masters at deceiving ourselves, trying desperately to escape the inevitably of work, discipline, and pain… believing that if only the circumstances were different we would be able to do what we need to do. But ironically, that time never comes… the circumstances are never quite right, there’s always something in the way… always a reason we couldn’t get to it.
I’ve always found the very idea of an excuse quite hard to understand, almost coming to conclude that the reasons we find for our behavior, in the end, matter very little… and that the things that do matter are the what we actually did and the choices we actually made and not just spoke of or formulated in my mind. Our choices are a function of our decisions, which are a manifestation of our true beliefs… in some ways to say, we act exactly as we are. This is difficult to stomach in our society, which is mostly built on just saying the right things and projecting images of ourselves that don’t actually exist. most of us would rather not think about it…but sometimes I don’t know how to see it any other way. And even if its not what what you wanted to hear…there’s actually a lot of hope in knowing you can make a change before you run out of time. And this is the irony of procrastination - By putting things off to avoid suffering, you only save up the suffering to be endured at a later time - and though the thought of doing it now may seem impossible to you in this moment, the pain of tending to it now cannot compare to the existential and irreversible pain of deep regret that you are saving for yourself later.
I’m experiencing the pain of neglecting that which I know I need to do. Things I’ve been putting off for days, weeks, months and even years are reaching through to grab my attention. I’ve realized for myself that I can’t wait another day because if I were honest I’ve been saying “tomorrow” for what seems like an eternity now.
I’m trying to be honest with myself now. There are things we all know we need to do… we may try to run from it… busy ourselves with activity, find excuses, develop lifestyles of endless escapsim and fantasy… but I am understanding more than ever now that the pain of ignoring these signs eventually becomes far greater than the pain of tending to them. Regret forms a type of a prison around our hearts… and I’d rather know the pain of freedom in honesty than the shackles of living a lie. Start what you need to start, and do it tomorrow (literally)… for the problems of life will continue to exist and time, unfortunately, is not sympathetic to our excuses…it just continues to roll regardless.
To do this one may need to silence the opinions of peers, family and loved ones… for even they don’t know what you know… the thing that is itching at your heart and soul… calling for you to take care of it… and for some of you the invitation to finally begin your life… to take responsibility.
Yall, don’t wait another day. I know I can’t anymore, I’m being forced to change. I’m realizing and coming to accept… that when we say “later” we are really saying “never.” so just go ahead and do it today.
See yall NOW