So I’ve been having a lot of trouble writing recently. It used to be that I never really proofread or deleted anything, I would just write a lot of my honest thoughts and post them on the internet. A lot of people have asked me over the years how I deal with feeling so vulnerable in front of a lot of unknown people reading about what you think. And you know what, over the years I never really thought about it because I really literally never really thought twice about it. It’s just I figured, if I really believe something why not express it and see what happens, right? And over those same years, I feel like these writings have really reached people or at least presented people with something that’s at least honest and not a complete fabrication like a lot of this place that we now inhabit called the “internet.”
And I realized recently that I had lost some of that vulnerability. I guess I started to fear and care about what others thought. You know if you watch celebrity interviews a lot of them talk about how they can have hundreds of positive comments but they will be totally focussed on the single negative comment that someone made… most likely on a phone somewhere in suburban America. I always thought that to be interesting because you’d think they’re established, rich and famous… why would they care about these random negative comments? I began to realize for myself that as everything grew in my life, my career and my business, I started to fear that I would not say the right words or not appease a certain portion of my “audience.” I was struggling with writing my blog becasue I found myself writing and deleting and writing and deleting again just to try to say the “perefect” thing as to not be misunderstood by anybody… But at the same time I felt my voice weakening. I couldn’t write like I used to anymore. There was always someone in the back of my head… that wasn’t me.
But yeah yall, I’m done with all that. I figured that I can’t say the right thing all the time in the exact right way… but I can try to articulate my thoughts to the world. and I’m wanting to reach yall out there who do feel like me and have all these thoughts and questions running through your head. I want to talk about LIFE. My life, your life, our life… the experience of going through LIFE itself. This insane journey of “growing.”
I’ve just been through something. I have so much to say with my life. I’m going to work to find my voice and my message. I’m turning off the comments.- I’m sorry yall anonymous stalkers/weirdos just did too much I don’t want to think about yall right now. I’m just hoping whoever reads and sees whatever I’m about to write and do in the next season of my life can feel me - what pushed me onto this path, the wind of my life & my destiny. We will never agree on everything, but maybe if we create with enough conviction we may have a chance of getting to know each other after all.