Some more time in Paris… I’m walking a lot… sitting a lot… painting. I didn’t realizing how much I needed some time away to just exist, eat, sleep and walk around without thinking about too much else.
I thought I would feel this huge rush of inspiration being here, and though of course everything is beautiful, I just feel really still. I’m thinking about the future… where I will go next or what I will do. Externally things are moving and expanding and growing, but in some ways I feel Stuck inside. Maybe stuck isn’t the right word, but just itchy. There are things I’m working on in my own life, those things you know you need to take care of.
I’ve realized over the last few years that there are steps in life that you can only take all by yourself. There are times and decisions that require complete focus and honesty, since you are the only one who can know your path for sure and what is aligned with your life. Friends and communities are important so long as they don’t cloud out what is your true voice, or draw you away from it. In the end, you are are responsible for your decisions and will need to live with how you’ve chosen to spend your life… there won’t be any time at the end to blame the people around you.
In many ways that’s why I wanted to come on this trip alone, far from the influences of anyone else that I know. I came to discover more of what is in myself and to bet on my own instincts and decisions.
I’ve been looking at all this art, all this fashion, and all of this beauty… finding myself in a place where I don’t believe there is a difference between myself and those who have their pieces hung up on the walls… I just needed to take hold of that truth and run with it. I’ve been thinking a lot about my business, and how much i want to learn and grow there… inspires by what I’ve experienced here and wanting to bring what I’ve seen back to Atlanta.
This is a picture of my apartment here, it’s tiny. This is a picture from the door. There’s a bed, kitchen and a shower right to the left of where I’m standing. It’s perfect. That little desk is where I’ve been doing all of my Paintings for my show Friday… my days are spent walking around, looking at art, adult snacking, then at night painting. I just finished up my session tonight with 3 peonies which I will mount to the scrolls tomorrow morning. But for now, I am tired… one more day in Paris tomorrow then I’m back to Frankfurt for my show and then the gods of ink Convention… can’t wait.
I’m tired… til tomorrow
