Today I am 16 days sober of drugs and alcohol. I am going through such a deep transformation. I will look back on this time of my life as the moment that I knew exactly which direction to go. I realized that in life, it’s no one’s responsibility to tell you what you want to do. This is work of the soul, this is the great work of life, and it’s up to each person to be honest with themselves and to make a conscious decision on who they want to be. When you’re young you think that you’ll wake up one day and be who you want to be, but that’s just not the truth… You have to work to get there. You need to find the path for yourself. For the most part, culture, media and your “friends” cannot help you.
I don’t know why it is this time for me, it just is. I felt like I needed to quit drinking and smoking because I needed to admit that these patterns in life were putting me in a fog, acting as obstacles in between myself and who I dream to become in deepest part of my soul. I stopped justifying my actions based on my environment and my peers and made a decision for myself. I feel like I have something to prove to myself, that I can be and do anything I set my mind to no matter that anyone else thinks. I am accepting my life’s call. I know who I want to be and though i do not know the details, I know exactly what I need to do to get there.