I want to do some more spontaneous blog-outs on the roll. Just things I’m observing or realizing in the moments, and probably not share. So if you’ve found this you’re an OG!
Mac Miller’s 2009 is the soundtrack.
Tonight I prayed in a way I haven’t prayed in a long time. I cried. It was so good to feel close to God in a way that reminded me of when I was younger. I have a friend, Ms. Helen… she’s actually my friend Missy’s mom (if that gives you some perspective). Sometimes I call her my Athens mom. Miss Helen has always loved me. From the time I worked at the church, she just always took the time to pray for me, to encourage me, to take me to lunch, and have me over for dinner. Tonight, she made me dinner and let me dry some laundry at her house. Later, I played the keyboard and we worshipped and prayed. I started to cry. I felt God, I felt loved, I felt hope. Miss Helen doesn’t know about all my failures, weaknesses and struggles… but tonight, I think I realized that it might not make a difference if she did. I think I realized, she would always love me.
All I’m saying really is that sometimes it’s ok to have people in your corner that think the world of you, and to not feel bad about it. And sometimes it’s ok to feel like you need to surround yourself with those kinds of people in certain times. I’m starting to see that I have a really hard time wrapping my head around the fact that people might love me enough to see the best in me no matter how I fail. I’m starting to see more and more, that love actually isn’t that fair.