Dear Diarya: 2020-10-11

I’m dying my hair so I had some time to kill tonight. So I just opened up my blog and here we are everyone. I’m just going to type whatever comes to mind.

The new song is out, which is pretty cool. I hope everyone likes it. To be honest I put it on repeat the last few days… cause I’m really proud of what I was able to achieve both as an artist and a producer and also mix engineer with this track. This whole project, in a sense, was a happy accident brought to you by quarantine as well as my existential and emotional challenges. I wanted to push the conventional boundaries of recording and challenge myself to get outside of my own box. I wanted to create a sound that was experimental in nature that also replicated some aspects of music that I grew up listening to. And I also tried to mix all my interests the best I could. I feel like I’m one step closer to developing my voice as an artist and producer.

Besides that, I’m out here. Thinking about the future. Wondering what it will be like. Wondering if I will ever realize my dream, or if the dream dies so that you can realize that what you end up getting is better than what you wanted originally. I don’t know. Or does life have to come with all the “what if’s.” Like what if I did that? What if I didn’t do that? The haunting question, “did I miss it?” Sometimes I’ll watch youtube videos of hit producers and artists in a studio and wonder to myself if I will ever get to experience that… and then wondering if I am an idiot for even thinking those things were ever possible… Or if it’s wildly closer to me than I could ever imagine. I don’t know… maybe time will tell.