Saturday night. I’ve just spent the day with my mom, which was so needed. We got Korean food and went to the mall and got sunglasses. Family time well spent.
I would like to be diligent in processing this next record more in writing. I have found that these little process entries are fascinating to read back later. You realize how much you learned along the way and exactly how much I don’t know in this very moment. The emotions, head space, and thoughts I have right now, though they feel like 100% reality, may be completely different in just a short amount of time. Writing helps to freeze these things in place and allows them to live on. And it helps me remember more about this awesome process. I’ve been disciplining myself to keep a journal and to give myself a daily outlet to the things I’m wrestling with deep inside. I’ve found that something mysterious is released when I do that. It really does help. It gives me a voice, even if it’s to no one. Weirdly, I feel heard. I can’t believe I haven’t always done this.
This is the first place you’ll hear. I’m officially going to call the album “Never A Waste.” I decided to abandon my attempt at completing “From My Window To Yours” as a two part project and allow Pt. 1 to live on solo. I thought that the second set of songs would come along congruently with Pt. 1, but it just wasn’t the case. Too much has happened in unexpected ways since April of last year, and can I say that I’m surprised? Life has so many twists and turns. How can we possibly know what is to come?
A song came through to me last week that I think pushed this entire project into motion. Never A Waste. What an idea… that no matter what we go through, the risk, the vulnerability, the chances we take, the failures we find ourselves in… none of if, if you want to believe it, is ever a waste. All that we have left is a choice to believe. I was writing a description of this album, just trying to get a grasp on what I wanted it to be, and I wrote,
“I sing about my faith, my longing, my confusions, my confessions, my failure, broken relationships, and the loss of beloved peoples and times - and hope to be able to tie all of these loose ends up in a loose bow, even if for a moment.”
I kind of liked that - tying loose ends into a bow. I don’t know how to do it any other way other than this. By even starting this album, I’m trusting a promise that all of this happening in my life is for a reason - that no piece of furniture will be left out of the frame in the end. Even the weird ugly paintings that you got at goodwill for no good reason. Even those. Or should I say, especially those. They complete the picture.
In this stage, I’m scheduling my recording days and release times. I am aiming for my birthday March 25 of 2019, because hey why not. I am really hoping to press this album to vinyl, finally, something I’ve always wanted to do. I think this one is going to make it to the wax.
As always, thank you for reading my words. I am terrified and ready to make another record.